The Right Thing To Do

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Look…if you’re pregnant and under the age of, say…thirty-three; I want you to strongly consider the simple, safe and often-preformed medical/surgical procedure known as Dilatation and Curettage. This painless procedure commonly referred to as a “D&C” can and will help you! And even more importantly, it will help the rest of us to deal with so many of the world’s problems that I can hardly name ‘em all.

But, the bottom line is that: There are just too many people walking around sneezing, farting and taking up space on the freeway that the best thing you can do; before that parasitic-organism slips out of your cunt and begins taking up precocious space on the planet and a spot in line at Starbucks; is to send that thing back, by way of the cosmic stork, to wherever-the-fuck it came from. And I don’t mean that singles cruise ship where you screwed a different guy every night for six consecutive nights straight.

I mean…back to the ethereal space that gives combining cells permission to take up residency in your stinky uterus. Come on, there is no big miracle going on down there. You had that wart removed before you took your beach vacation, didn’t you? It’s mainly the same thing. Twenty…twenty- five minutes tops and just slightly more bleeding and you’re done. Finished! Ready to go out and start growing another one. But, this time…think of the rest of us! But, if you don’t…