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What the fuck happens to people when they get religion? They either become a big pain in the ass. Or, if they live in sand-nigger-land; they blow themselves up. Which is alright by me, just as long as no Americans are involved in the rapidly expanding gasses that they ignite when they trip the trigger on their Allah Akbar vests.
Being a pain in the ass though, although more subtle, is almost just as bad. Because generally speaking…Americans are usually included in the scope of irritation that these pious-pinheads project when their crap widens out into an ever widening circle…Till it eventually includes me.
Like the other day…I went into this cheese-ass restaurant only to get a cup of coffee. I refuse to enter one of those designer coffee places where a bunch of faggots drink queer-coffee, typing on their laptops, using the free Wi-Fi. Fuck! I’ll go to a greasy spoon every time.
Anyway…I’m sitting down, sipping my coffee, which tastes like sour monkey piss. When I, by chance, glance over my shoulder and see that the fuckin family of Hill Billys sitting next to me is getting their food. Just then, the sixteen year old, “I’ll-be-your-server-Brittany,” who looks like she spends a good deal of her time studying for a degree in slut, sets down the last plate. Immediately, the four Billys: Mommy, Daddy, Junior, and Sis-Billy; all…join-hands, look-down and start mumbling something under their breath.
This, my friend, scares the shit outta me. The neighborhood being what it is, I immediately think that a fuckin jig with a shotgun has just walked into the place and that we all are headed inside the walk-in cooler for load of buckshot to the brain.
Then, as soon as I realize that the only jig in the place is behind the grill, scratching his ass and flipping burgers…The table of mumbling Billys stops their shit and starts eating and laughing and dropping food out of their toothless mouths.
They were just praying of course. Giving thanks to Big Daddy-in-the- Sky for their cheeseburgers, fries, cokes, catsup, salt, pepper and the fuckin paper napkins just barely keeping the chucks of food that had fallen out of their gaping mouths from staining their pants. (Not that it would make much difference anyway.)
Okay wait… you’re right. I don’t understand it. I know that people being people; when they get stuck in a spot they can’t get out of….Like cancer or prison, they get religious. But, these simple folk were sitting inside a cheap diner. And I suppose, could have walked out anytime they wanted. Still, they engaged in this weird-ass, embarrassing and public display of head-hanging, hand-holding, mumbling-under-their-breath and devotion. In which, I surely would have joined them. If in fact, that nigger with a shotgun…had just walked in the place!