Any Kid Will Do

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Americans have this confusion about their Armed Forces. They were okay, until the government changed the name of the War Department, to the Department of Defense. Then, your average American began to scratch his head and try to reconcile the motto of the old Strategic Air Command; “Peace is Our Profession,” to the obvious mission of the aircraft they flew, which was not comprised of hundreds and hundreds of Cessna pleasure cruisers.

And the confusion continues. Although, not among the people that run the Armed forces. They understand that the reason our military has for being is to kill the enemy and capture his territory. On the other hand, the American public still seems to think that it exists to help kids go to college.

Other confusions abound. One of the largest, is that a stint in the Armed Forces will make your kid, a man. Wrong…Time will make your kid a man. The Army will make your kid a solider. Then there was the pitch, at least the one the Navy tried a number of years back that – “It’s not a Job…It’s an Adventure.” Yea, it’s an adventure if your call cleaning toilets and scraping paint an adventure.

Now, the Army is pitching, “There’s Strong and There’s Army Strong.” I suppose what that means is a couple of tours in Iraq. But, there is probably some parent out there who is glad his kid is shipping off to basic training and is thinking totally something else. (Who knows what the fuck that “Army Strong” shit means anyway.)

One more illusion held in the pubic mind is that military service will expose their offspring to people and places they wouldn’t otherwise see. I can imagine some joker joining the XII Legion to see Gaul. And he will. But, as far as people go; He’s not gonna see anybody much different than himself. If you don’t believe me, ask your kid when he gets of the bus and stands in the parking lot of the receiving center; if anybody around him was called Bush, Cheney, Clinton, Rockefeller or Obama. No? Fucking big surprise right?

That’s because the Armed Forces are made up these days of minimum wage warriors. Kids who can’t find a better job than McDonalds. Kids who can’t see a way out of hometowns like Ass-Cheeks, Arizona or Crotch-Mold, Nebraska or any of the other places that kids want to put in the rear-view mirrors of their crappie, loud, used, cars.

That’s why these recruiters hang around the graduating classes of high schools like spit-shined, chicken-hawks, trying to grab up some kid who saw a Hollywood bullshit war movie on the cable TV in his parents double-wide and thought to himself at one point, “Gee, that’s cool!”

Why don’t they just put a Mickey in this poor kid’s coke and Shanghai him off to boot camp? At least, that would be less exploitive and ring a bit truer then that crap they sell him. Fuck them! Let ‘em take Little Johnny to Walter Reed and have him look around a couple of wards and then ask him if he is still so keen to join up. If what he sees pisses the kid off and he still wants to go, at least he’ll know what he might be in for.

There are people that enjoy that shit. Want to do it. And do it over and over again. If that’s the case, then fine. At least they know what they’re in for and understand the distinction between the Department of Defense and the War Department.